BIG TIPS

¿Buscas compañera, viajera mundial?

by M.T. "the Big Tipper" Martone

Dám si mineralku. daam si MI-ne-raal-ku. I'll take a mineral water. ail teik e Ml-ne-rel WA-t/r.

Oi. Como vai? oî. KO-mu vaî?

Hi. How's it going? haî. haûz it GOU-ing?

Adoro il tuo tatouage. a-DO-ro il TU-o ta-TUAD-dzho.

I love your tattoo. aî lev y/r ta-TU.

Quantos anos você me dá? KUAN-tus A-nus vo-SE mi da?

How old do you think I am? haû oûld du you think aî em?

Tu aimes les filles? tü em le fi? Are you into girls? ar yu IN-tu g/rls?

Puedo hacer lo que quieras. PUE-dho a-THER lo ke KIE-ras.

I can be whatever you want. wa-TE-v/r yu want.

aî ken bi

Posso ir para casa com você? PO-su ihh PA-re KA-ze kon vo-SE?

Can I come home with you? ken aî kem hoûm widh yu?

Baciami. BA-tsha-mi. Kiss me. kis mi.

Zieh dich uas. tsii dish aûs.

Take your clothes off. teîk y/r kloûz af.

Tu mouilles. tü MUI-ye. You're so wet. y/r soû wet.

Profumi di buono. pro-FU-mi di BUO-no. You smell so good, yu smel soû gud. Jemnejc... jo, tam! YEM-niê-its ... yo, tam!

Ti voglio. Girati... DZHI-ra-ti...

I want you. Turn over... OU-v/r...

ti VO-lyo.

aî want yu. t/rn

You have got to get one of these books: Hot International Lesbian: (or Gay:) Love and Sex in Seven Languages, BabelCom, Inc., 1996. If you aren't headed out on a tour of the Continent, you can read the English translations out loud and pretend you're Dutch.

Yet another note: There is currently a call for submissions on for a big book on dykes and their spirituality. When the editors talked to me about it, I expressed my general crustiness toward organized religion and a great deal of “alt.spirituality," at which I was assured that it is going to include a very broad range of experiences. One woman is submitting her macaroni and cheese recipe. For details, contact Max Airborne and Elana Escalara, 2215-R Market St. #193, San Francisco, Calif 94114, or airborne@sirius.com.

By the way, this column's headline is in Spanish: "Are you looking for a companion, world traveler?"

Send your burning questions on life and love to M.T. Martone, care of the Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, or e-mail to martone@drizzle.com.

AUGUST 1, 1997 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 23

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Not so hard... right there! nat soû hard... raît DHE-/r!

Más ráda robertky? maash_RAA-da RO-bert-ki?

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Do you like dildos? du yu laîk DIL-doûz?

Ich habe das noch nie gemacht, aber ich kann es ausprobieren. ish HAA-be das nohh nii ge-MAHHT, A-ber ish kan es AUS-pro-BII-ren.

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I've never done that, but I'll try it. aîv NE-v/r den dhet, bet aîl traî it.

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Quieres mas? KIE-res mas?

Business

You want more? yu want m/r?

Mais fundo... mais forte! maîs FUN-du... maîs FOHH-tshi! Deeper... harder! DII-p/r... hard/r!

Estás buenísima! es-TAS buê-NI-si-ma! You're so hot! y/r soû haat!

Attention les ongles! a-ten-SION lez ON-gle!

Watch your nails! watsh y/r neîlz!

No tengas miedo. no TEN-gas MIE-dho. Don't be scared. doûnt bi skeered.

Du bist so eng! du bist zoo eng! You're so tight! y/r soû taît!

Dimmi quando stai per venire. DIM-mi KUAN-do stai per ve-NI-re.

Tell me when you're going to come. tel mi wen y/r GOU-ing tu kem.

Estou quase gozando! is-TOU KUA-zi go-ZAN-du!

I'm getting close! aîm GE-ting kloûs!

Ich komme! ish KO-me!

I'm coming! aim KE-ming!

Musím do koupelny. KOU-pel-ni.

MU-siim do

I have to go to the bathroom. ai hev tu goù tu dhe BEETH-rum.

Eres fabulosa en la cama. E-res fa-bu-LO-sa en la KA-ma.

You're fantastic in bed. y/r fan-TES-tik in bed.

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